THE CAFE-HAUNTER

Alas, the server with my favourite name seems uncontactable, now...

"After our 6th Annual New Years Eve Around the World Telebration, the Home Page is now in a creative cocoon stage. It will re-emerge from this metamorphosis with a new look and information on many more exciting Electronic Cafe events for 1995. Please check back here later in January."

Right. So this is March 1995, you want us to check back in January of what year? What is this? Café Pupa International?

Did Shirley MacClaine write this text? Gag me with something...

The Electronic Café of Santa Monica, CA are pioneers of Larval Linking. Would someone please be so kind as to wake me up when the glistening bio-units in Santa Monica first emerge and unfold and begin their flapping after their release from silken bondage on the beach in LA...? It is too mind-fucking for me to continually check their site and read retro-futuro new-age (rhymes with sewage) announcements...

"We're a working espresso bar located in the Capitol Hill section of Seattle. Besides the best damn latté in town we offer full-access Internet terminals where you can do the InfoSuperHighway thing via World Wide Web, gopher, e-mail, usenet, IRC, and telnet. Drop into our free "Intro to the Internet" classes held every Saturday and Sunday..."

Yes, let's "do" lunch, drugs, India, some "thing"...

My name is 'Cino...here is my s.o. Latte...We reproduce the Puget Sound...I have a new cock ring...I have to sit down to piss...It hurts so much I have to take Heroin...Lotte has a Boeing tattooed on her ass...could you have a look...ummm, we'd like to have it removed...maybe cover it with, like, 'lectronic larvae or something...

"Internet Café is a company based in Santa Barbara,California. We help organizations use the Internet as an access or marketing tool. We design and create World-Wide Web documents and host them on our World-Wide Web server, making them accessible to the Internet community. We also provide a wide range of Internet connectivity as well as consultation on any Internet related services. The Internet Café staff have advanced degrees in Computer Science and related disciplines and are fully knowledgeable of the languages and protocols of the Internet."

I don't smell any coffee here...

"The UK's 1st E-café!" they say. Part of Easynet. Nice range of resources. Their Dating Agency is Virtual and Virtuous...no submissions at all in category I browsed...

• Cyber Café Guide v3.2

  This is the most exhaustive listing of e-cafés at present...however, many of those listed are not really operational...includes groups thinking about virtual activities...pretty ethereal...

• Cyberia Resident-Astrologer Margaret R.'s monthly offerings

  ...with historical notes as well...

"It's no coincidence... if you are reading this, then you were meant to visit Café Sedona..."

"...A vortex is a site where the earth's unseen lines of power intersect to form an energy field. There are four such vortexes around us. Perhaps you can feel them? (The Sedona Chamber of Commerce will be happy to mail you brochures filled with lovely color pictures of the areas in which the vortexes exist..."

So, know Dutch and your way around a telnet session or be a Boer...keeping the Dutch Colonial spirit alive on the web! The Dutch East Internet Company.

• Deux Magots
  

• Café Flore
  

Café Renaissance is located in San Diego, California "We are about 1 mile west of the Fashion Valley Mall."

Oh, no!

I got out before downloading the .gif named "Drywall"...

"Artec set up a special site on the web to guide visitors to the Queen Elizabeth Hall foyer toward resources of interest on the Internet, and also to allow users of the Net...to share our experience at the South Bank..."

located in Prince George, British Columbia, in Canada's Northwest Region. "It is Canada's first full-size Coffee Bar in which you can obtain full access to the Internet... The Internet Café is also home to our various Internet publishing ventures, including Prince George Online, Prince George Green Pages, the Prince George Business Directory, and the Prince George Virtual Real Estate Listings."

By Jove! Let's contact Prince George from the Queen Elizabeth Foyer! Brilliant!

"It even has a resident psychologist, Dr. Russ Winterbotham, who is the proprietor of the Café."

Good, I'm beginning to feel my name is George...

"Customers can sip Cappuccino while they "Surf the Net" in the computer lounge. The Café seats 100 people and has an Arts and Crafts section where products from communities around the world are available..."

Once again, learn Dutch...It'a a beautiful language, often likened to a pathology of the throat...Phlegmish...

"Over The Coffee is a privately maintained World Wide Web resource dedicated to coffee enthusiasts world-wide. Over The Coffee was inspired by the Usenet coffee newsgroups and is designed to provide a variety of information for both coffee enthusiasts and coffee professionals."

Check the coffee-level at the University of Cambridge Computer Laboratory...

"A video capture board in an Acorn Archimedes grabs one frame every second and the WWW server requests a frame from it using MSRPC2 (indirectly). Each frame is JPEG encoded by the Archimedes."

CU-SeeMe client software (Macintosh and Windows)allowing one to participate in CU-SeeMe videoconferencing used by some E-Cafés is available.

Hypermail is available at this Temporary Autonomous Café.

Morgan Russell